


Not Ready

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Calligraphy, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Past Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Space Mom Leia Organa, Tragic Keepsake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:41:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24433012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: A gift from Leia sets off all sorts of emotions for Poe.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Poe Dameron/Kylo Ren
Kudos: 10
Collections: Gen Prompt Bingo Round 18





	Not Ready

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Loss
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

There was a knock on the door even as Poe Dameron sat on his bed, struggling vainly to come to grips. “Poe.” Leia’s voice was soft, soft as ghosts. Poe forced himself to his feet even as Leia said, “Can I come in?”  
  
“Yeah,” Poe said, softly. “You can.”   
  
(And if he felt like his heart was breaking, like there was no retrieving it? That was something that he could ignore)  
  
Leia opened the door and walked inside. She was carrying something — more specifically, Ben’s calligraphy set. It had been damaged when the hut had collapsed on it — already, it seemed suspicious, Poe thought, because Ben wouldn’t just randomly bring the hut down on Luke. He wouldn’t randomly just attack his own uncle when his uncle was trying to help him.   
  
There was something wrong with it. That Poe knew.   
  
“It’s all we have left of Ben,” Leia said. “Wherever he is. I thought that you could have it. It seemed right. Natural, actually.”  
  
Poe nodded. “Thank you.” He took the set from Leia. He could remember times when they spoke over the comm, watching Ben write different names, words, phrases. He could remember Ben writing out three words (“I love you”) on the flimsiplast, and Poe feeling his heart swell just seeing it all but immortalized in Ben’s fancy calligraphy. Three words, that really said volumes as to how devoted Ben really was to him. Three words, that meant everything.  
  
“Leia,” Poe said, “There’s no way that Ben would have done this.”  
  
Leia looked pained. Then, “I don’t know if Ben’s the same anymore. I...” She trailed off.   
  
“He wouldn’t. I know him. I love him.” Poe said, fervently.   
  
“I don’t know anymore.” A beat. “Poe...you’re not ready for this as is. Really.”  
  
She left. Poe should have thrown the calligraphy set on the ground, but he couldn’t. Not now. He cradled it in his hands, looking down at it, at things that had been crushed, some beyond repair.   
  
“Ben,” he said, softly.   
  
He didn’t know where Ben was, not right now. He could only pray that wherever Ben was, he had at least a shred of happiness.


End file.
